An overly busy and exhausting schedule will leave you with nothing but recovery needs.
Because I am anti-gatekeeping and I love to be highly practical here is my main point right away…
If the goal is adulthood where you feel alive, present, creative, and fully yourself…
then you must make space for learning, reading, new hobbies, and community building.
It is very difficult to have a vibrant adult life full of books, creativity, and new skills if you are stressed out and overwhelmed with the daily basics.
An overly busy and exhausting schedule will leave you with nothing but recovery needs.
Being so deeply worn out every night that you don’t want to leave the couch is not the goal of awesome adulting.
I believe that you can choose to live differently, be deliberate in your free time, and in your planning.
a note from April:
Please hear compassion in my tone when you read this. I want you to push back against the wave of stress from our culture. I want you to reclaim autonomy in your adulting.
I totally understand that there are seasons when your life just doesn’t make space for learning. And that is okay. But it’s a season (a new baby, moving, surgery recovery, a major work project, battling cancer, loss of a loved one, hitting burnout… it may even last a several months.)
I also believe adult life does not have to be defined by difficult seasons.💙
When I hit burnout, I knew something needed to change but I honestly did not know where to start.
Let’s pretend we could sit together in a local coffee shop and I could share with you some practical ways that I made changes.
I wrote this to be shared, so feel free to send it to someone who could use it. 💙
How do we make space for learning?
I have a list of areas that will make your restful weekends easier and your learning feel spacious.
Slowing down is difficult.
It is hard because it is so radically different than how we have been wired, trained, and encouraged to be.
Here are some simple steps forward.
🌼Take what is helpful right now.
#1: Reclaim Your Weekends —
If you have a schedule that feels heavy and uncontrollable, I see you. Rest is something that we all desperately need. No matter how old we are or what job we have (or don’t have). No matter economic status, lack of vacation funds, or the demands from our work.
“Rest is the gift, not a reward. It’s not a hobby that lazy people take advantage of. It is woven into the fabric of our very biology. The body is designed to rest. I don’t have to earn that with my performance. Rest is not a byproduct of my success. It’s a byproduct of my humanity. I don’t have to get ahead to enjoy it or need it.” – Jon Acuff1
We are not made to work non-stop.
Our bodies were created for rhythms of rest.
Let’s start by defining the word weekend as I plan to use it. For our purposes here, a weekend is not specific to Saturday and Sunday.
Here are my definitions:
weekend: (noun) one to two days off from your normal work and activities. A rest, a time to re-set. Time to slow down from the busy demands of jobs, careers, other people, and tasks.
These days can happen at any time in the week (preferably together).
What matters is that you are strategically choosing to take time off from your typical work and do activities that are calming and restorative. That might be an afternoon, a full day, or even 3 days in a row.
Take whatever you can get. Your body needs to move at a different pace and your mind needs a break from what you have been focused on during the rest of the week.
While we are talking about words, we should also define what I mean by rest.
rest: (noun) freedom from activity or labor, sleep, peace of mind or spirit. Something used for support.2
Amid the weekend, we all allow ourselves (and each other) some space. We have time to do what delights and replenishes us.
#2: Declutter Your Home —
Stuff has pull on us. It holds emotional power and the weight of unmade decisions.
I have never stood in the kitchen holding a dirty food wrapper or an empty chip bag trying to decide where to store it. I know that it goes = in the trash.
I do, however, stand there holding a child’s artwork, a bottle of almost empty cleaner, a coupon I might use, or Tupperware container that has lost the lid. All four of these things have the potential to get shoved somewhere so I can decide later.
When I go through a space and clear the clutter I essentially choose to make tons of delayed decisions all at once. It is invigorating and freeing.
Clearing clutter gives me an inner sense of calm.A peace that things are where they should be.
When I get rid of things I no longer need, I am making space for things that do. It is an act of resistance against consumerism, discontent, and overwhelm.
#3: Invest in Homemaking —
While we are defining terms, we should also clarify what I mean by homemaker.
Homemaker: (noun) the person who chooses to create an environment in the space where they spend their time.
This is not dependent on gender, economic status, type of dwelling, or the location. We are all homemakers or consumers of the spaces where we live, work, and spend our lives.
There is a relationship between environment and our emotional well-being. The way that I shape my home changes my routines, my daily life, and my relationships.
Homes are NOT naturally comfortable and relaxed. The nature of a busy home is chaotic, messy, disorganized, and grimy. The activities and daily events leave an aftermath that is not pretty. (Or is that just my home?)
In my experience, keeping a home organized, clean, and cozy takes a lot of work. But when we take the time to do the hard work of homemaking, we create a place of calm. We can experience restoration and heal from the hustle of the day.
Home can be the favorite place to be.
We all need safe spaces where we can retreat for reading and relaxing. We need spots where we can sit and think, nap, snuggle, and ponder.
Some practical basics of homemaking:
- meal planning — We all eat multiple times a day. Save yourself money and decision fatigue by tackling some simple meal planning.
- cleaning — It’s hard to enjoy reading or a new hobby when the house is gross. Decide on your basics, how often to do them, get help from people in your household, and let go of perfection.
- EHAP: Everything Has A Place — Return the random stuff collected on surfaces to where they belong. When everything has a place there is a mental calm that permeates the room.
- hygge (pronounced: “hyoo·guh”) — the art of making things cozy, welcoming, and comfortable in each season.
- My favorite piece of adulting is the ability to choose what each room in my house is used for, where the furniture goes, what hangs on the walls, and what that space feels like. I see it as an opportunity. “Hygge has been described as everything from the art of creating intimacy, cosines of the soul, the absence of annoyance, to taking pleasure from the presence of soothing things, cosy togetherness and the pursuit of everyday pleasures… hygge is about creating an atmosphere where we can let your guard down.” – Mike Wiking3
Wherever you are on your path of resisting the our non-stop culture, you can keep taking the next step forward.
It really is about simple changes that make a big difference over time.
- What can you do right now that will impact your next week?
- How can you create more space for the things you love that get pushed to the side?
- What would getting 15 minutes of reading time tomorrow look like for you?
Maybe it is simple as putting together a stack of books you want to read on the coffee table, or scheduling a workout with a friend.
Reclaim your autonomy with one action step.
Check out these posts if you feel stuck:
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Please share with us what is working and what is hard about making space and slowing down.
We would love to hear from you!
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I hope this post helped you feel seen and encouraged to take charge of the time you do have control over and make a few changes.
I am cheering for you!!
🌞Have a restful week!
1 Start – Punch Fear in the Face, Escape Average, Do Work that Matters by Jon Acuff.
2 Merriam Webster Online Dictionary – https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary I liked this definition. I also like the unexpected definition from the noun form of rest. It made me think of a pillow or cushion for a tiered head.
3 Mike Wiking. My Hygge Home. (New York, Abrams Image, 2022) Check out his resources at: https://www.meikwiking.com/