Lifelong learning in the margins & how small curiosities brought me back to life.
There is an unparalleled exhaustion to understanding and then meeting the needs of babies and small children.
They are compelled to demand what they need at all times of the day and night. This is a tremendous strain and physically draining, especially for the mom.
Not only do we have the responsibility of keeping them alive in spite of their wild death-defying plans, but there is a heavy worry that suffocates us. “Am I doing this right? Is my child sleepy or hungry? What if he doesn’t ever stop crying?”
And that doesn’t even include some of the crushing long-term worry that shows up at 2am when the house is finally quiet.
To survive that time period, what I did (and lots of moms do) was give up anything that was “just for me”.
I let go of anything that did not directly meet the needs of my small children, pregnant belly, or household tasks.
As a stay-at-home mom I was already making huge sacrifices for our family but it went even deeper. I was told by those well-meaning women around me that I should give up anything that “took time away” from my kids, husband, and home.
Only a few months into that decision, I felt like I was withering on the inside. Resentment began to creep into my heart.
It would jump out of me in arguments or difficult moments.
“I’ve given up everything for you, so you should be happy!”
“I have literally spent all day cleaning up messes, nursing, changing diapers, or hearing someone screaming.”
“I cannot think clearly enough to make a decision right now!”
I became an angry mom.
I held myself (and my children) to standards of perfection so that I could justify the frustration I felt on the inside. Maybe if we did everything “right” the disappointment I felt would be worth it.
Was this really the adult life that I worked so hard to build? A constant pouring out of my energy, my time, resources, and very little in return… Was this it?
I felt empty and defeated.
My husband tried to help but I think he honestly had no clue the pressure I put on myself or the standards I had adopted by other people. My friends that I went to for advice were following the same pattern I was in and could only offer sympathy. I was told over and over again that raising small kids is just hard and accepting it was better than fighting it.
However, deep inside this people-pleasing-good-girl, I have always been a bit of a secret rebel.
I refuse to believe that adult life is meant to be miserable and then you die.
I do accept that this world is difficult, and that hard work is required to support a family. But I believe that our 20’s, 30’s and 40’s should be invested and enjoyed. Not sacrificed to hustle, perfection, impossible standards, or what our culture says is worthy of our time.
This is when I discovered the antidote:
» deep learning, hobbies, and being intellectually alive
It is the life-style of life long learning that we fit into the cracks of our schedules and the in-between spaces of our lives that makes us feel alive again.
The hobby, skill, reading, or learning is simply for the sake of doing it. Just to be who we are. It makes us feel at home in our own bodies, it fits our personalities, and we enjoy the results of the time we spend investing in the activity.
This is the way to fight back against exhaustion, overwhelm, and the monotonous demands of adult life.
So, what am I talking about…?
How can this be possible in our busy world?
What Does Life-Long Learning Look Like?
Here are some examples to picture so we don’t overcomplicate things:
- A mom folds laundry while listening to an audiobook, turning chores into learning time.
- On weekend hikes, a busy professional unwinds and reconnects with nature.
- A college student experiments with new recipes, making their tiny dorm kitchen a creative space.
- A grandparent picks up a new language, eager to chat with their bilingual grandchildren.
- Between long shifts, a nurse finds peace in knitting a scarf, stitch by stitch.
- A parent and child plant a garden together, learning side by side.
- A dad turns his daily commute into a history lesson with podcasts.
- After grading papers, a teacher unwinds by blending colors in a watercolor painting.
- A business owner strums the guitar before bed, playing just for the joy of it.
- In the quiet moments of a night shift, sketching fills the pages of a notebook.
- Curiosity leads an entrepreneur to sign up for an online course, just for the joy of learning.
- A barista learns calligraphy, turning coffee shop breaks into creative practice.
- Long hours on the road turn into deep thinking as a truck driver listens to philosophy lectures.
- A hairstylist takes up photography, capturing the beauty in everyday moments.
This kind of learning isn’t about productivity or achievement—it’s about being fully alive.
When we make space for curiosity and creativity, we reclaim our time and energy in a way that feels deeply fulfilling.
A life well-lived isn’t measured by how much we accomplish but by how much we engage with the world around us.
I have more to share on this! Make sure you are subscribed to get the free printables and latest posts.
I would love to hear from you!
What’s something you’ve learned or explored lately just for the joy of it?
If this is an area where you have struggled, I got you!
This summer I will be posting a hobby series that will hopefully inspire you and reignite joy and new beginnings for you.
It will be gentle and practical, easy to add to a busy life.
See you soon!
check out this 10 min. podcast post in the archives:
Ep.#013 – The Power of Hobbies in Adulting
Hobby Revival: Overcoming Obstacles to Rekindle Your Joy
If you want more on rebuilding your life after burnout with simple, practical steps check out my book: Subtle Resistance