Personal Growth & Lessons Learned in Family Travel

Why would we spend money, time, energy, and resources on going to new places with our families?  Traveling anywhere is a lot of work. Is it worth it? These were the questions I asked for a long time. Travel with small kids felt heavy and difficult.

I did not see the value of traveling anywhere. I had lost my sense of adventure and replaced it with fear. I had no desire to leave my safe bubble, end up carsick, spend way too much money, and come home exhausted.

But I was missing something important. I was missing valuable learning and growth. I needed out of my comfort zone. Being in new places with natural beauty was the tool to bring me back to myself. 

• You can learn about my radical transformation in London here.
• See this article to learn about Travel with Small Kids
• This will be helpful if you are wondering why travel matters: From a Cautious Homebody to an Adventurous RV Traveler

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What changes when we travel? Why is it worth it?

My perspective changes when I have something different to see. I have learned to look up. To stare at the sky and watch the clouds. To see beauty in nature and enjoy the variety of landscapes.

Jim gets a much-needed break from the demands of his work and his many projects.

The kids get a break from school, activities, and household chores.

I let myself slow down and get rest. I get a break from the constant demands of running the household, our urban farm, homeschooling, driving the kids to all the extracurricular activities, and extended family events. I take a break from Netflix, email, texting, my never-ending task list, and Instagram. My bad habits get shaken up and sifted. I do not bring my chocolate stash with me. I go on long walks and make healthy eating part of my trip. 

(see more about that here)

We spend time together differently on RV trips. There is more time for long conversations and telling jokes. We take relaxed walks and have long drives to share ideas. There is less space for us to spread out and we share rooms. This can be overwhelming and unifying at the same time.

When someone is upset or there is a disagreement, we deal with it right away. There is no time for bad feelings to simmer and boil. We choose to resolve the conflict and move on. There are more important things to do than fight and argue. We decide to be kind and compassionate to each other. This does not always happen so well at home.

If you are interested in learning to be together in small spaces read this:

How to Get Along While Traveling from KYD

Travel changes our perspective, provides rest, creates resiliency, and brings closeness to our family.

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What does travel teach our kids?

Travel is constantly teaching our kids a wealth of knowledge. Kids are sponges of information. They will soak up whatever learning is right in front of them if they have the opportunity.

Jim and I view trips as a way to expand their learning in practical and tangible ways. We create situations where the kids will need to learn new skills and we give them help along the way.

Here are some skills our kids have learned on trips:

• Navigation skills – How to read a map, use a subway route, read hiking trail markers, and use Google maps in stressful situations.

• People Skills – What strangers are safe to talk to and get information from. And how to make friends with other kids at campgrounds. They have seen dangerous situations and have learned how to navigate those as well.

• Self Awareness – This includes knowing when to be active, when to take breaks, and when we need to stop for food. We often ask them to assess what is most needed and help decide how meet that need. Like deciding that we are all hungry, when, and where we will eat.

• Risk assessment – We often have to change plans based on unforeseen circumstances. The kids have helped assess things like road closures, RV damage, forest fires affecting air quality, unsafe campsites, walking in downtown Portland, flooding, and intense storms. 

• Packing, set up, tear down, and cleaning – All of our kids are involved in each of the steps that it takes for a trip to be successful. They have learned how to pack their own clothing and supplies. Each kid has a job to help set up, help with cleaning, and tear down camp. We use a divide and conquer strategy so that all 6 of us are working on different tasks. They learn skills and contribute to group.

• Practical decision making – We often ask the kids to help us make decisions on the fly.
  • Based on what we know now, should we do this or that?
  • Now that it is raining, should we go hiking or wander around inside in the Visitor’s Center?
  • Since that restaurant is closed, should we make sandwiches in the RV or keep driving to find something else?
  • It looks like the wind is too strong on the lake to go kayaking, should we take a walk or ride our bikes around the campground?

As much as we can, we involve our kids in the decision-making and the activity of the trip. We allow the kids to share their opinions. Even in situations where Jim and I have already decided what is happening. We take votes on neutral activities and gather their input on the next day’s schedule.

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Questions for You:

• What changes have you experienced from travel?
• When was the last time you had a change in perspective?
• What types of landscapes to you enjoy exploring?
• Where can you go that is different than what you see at home? The forest, the desert, the mountains, a canyon, river rapids, or tall grasses in farm fields…
• How do you find rest? How do you take a break from your normal routine?
• What do you need a break from?
• What can you do to foster family closeness?
• How can relationships deepen and grow in your travels?
• What can you do so that your kids can expand their learning?
• What are some practical and tangible ways to teach them life skills?
• So much knowledge is shared in the moment, on the trail, or in a situation of disappointment.

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We have discovered that we can all learn something from our experiences. No matter if the trip is going great or if there are frustrating setbacks. I have seen our kids grow in courage, practical skills, and confidence.

My marriage has been strengthened by the times spent talking on long drives. We have family stories of shared experiences that make us all laugh, shake our heads, or cringe. Our family culture is shaped by adventure and creative problem-solving.

Plan your next adventure. Invest in the experience. It will be worth it.

I pray that your travel will change your perspective.

That sitting in a camping chair under the swaying pine trees will bring rest to your soul.

That the flat tire or broken trailer part will foster creativity and resiliency.

And that being together on a long drive brings closeness to your family.

Safe Travels! – April

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