How to gain control when my head is spinning.
Productive tips for moms, humans, and homemakers about what to do next.
Article Outline:
- My Story
- Questions to Ask
- Practical ways to solve overwhelm
- Simple Checklist
My Story
The kids were gone at Home Depot with Jim. I had at least an hour to myself to do whatever I wanted. I was rested, motivated and ready to be productive.
Was I productive? NO. Nope.. Not at all…
I was wondering the house confused about what to do next, how to spend my time, and what was most important. Frustrated, I sat down to write out all the things to be done. The list kept growing and growing like a scary fairy tale monster. That was when I discovered the power of a Brain Dump. I realized that I was being torn in so many directions and confused by everything I was trying to do.
David Allen in his amazing book Getting Things Done talks about keeping information out of your head in a system that you can deal with. Keep it in a place where you can actually do something with it. The human brain is great at processing information, being creative with it, but NOT holding it. It is a terrible filing cabinet.
In the book Essentialism by Greg McKeown he stresses the importance about being in the moment. What is happening right now? When we know what our current situation is, we can move forward. A false reality does not help anyone. Self-awareness brings freedom and joy.
I decided to take these principles and create a checklist to follow when I get stuck. Questions to ask myself at times like this when my head is spinning.
We all have days when we feel off or directionless and the way that we regain focus matters.
What we tell ourselves on those days shape our inner dialog. What we do when we are frustrated becomes part of who we are. Our small decisions build patterns and a lifestyle.
Do we gain control in a calm, thoughtful way?
Do we explode in anger, react to those around us like a selfish child, or seep sarcasm?
Or do we give up and end up on the couch wasting time?
I know which ones I want to say are true about me and the others that unfortunately my family sees way too often.
To change behavior, we need new ideas and new tools to try.
Questions to ask:
- What is most important right now?
- What is vying for my attention?
- How can I be kind to my future self?
- What can I do now to make tomorrow (this week) easier?
- Get the future out of your head.
- What might you want to do someday as a result of today?
Practical ways to solve overwhelm:
Brain Dump
Get all ideas out of my head and onto paper.
- This looks like a scribbled list of all the things I am thinking about. No order just one after the other.
- The next step can be putting items together (like all the errands or all the phone calls)
Take each item written down, define a next action, and write that down.
- “Next Action” is a term from GTD: Very specific wording that involves thinking while writing the list.
- Next action example: _________ (verb) __________ (noun) _________ (location)
- Example #1: call Shawna at (602) 555-1243 about Vet appt. / NOT: dog to vet (can I get in the car and go to the vet right now? Which vet am I going to? When do I schedule the appt. for?)
- Example #2: get Meow Mix at Grocery store / NOT: cat food
- Example #3: grade Chemistry Chap 8 Test / NOT: school paperwork
Why does this matter? When you do all the thinking at the time of writing it down it is much easier to take action. The thinking has been completed and you only have to do the task. No decision making needed.
With purpose and calm work through the list of tasks most important right now. One at a time.
- Do all 2-minute tasks first.
- Group the tasks together that use similar tools, locations or energy. (errands, phone calls, cleaning)
- Choose the tasks that are bothering you the most. Is it the dirty floor, or the stack of UPS boxes?
- What can you do right now that you cannot do later? Do you need quiet for a task? Brain power?
- What can you delegate to someone else? Are you the only one who can make dinner today or clean?
- Ask for help!
- Having a community means a give-and-take relationship. Call a friend or family member.
Rest & Sabbath
We also have days that we just need some downtime or some rest. We all need a re-boot.
- What is truly restful and restorative for you?
- Go out on a walk in the neighborhood with the kids, or go hiking on a trail nearby.
- Smell nature and take pictures of plants.
- Act like you are on vacation for an afternoon.
I am learning how to create an atmosphere of rest. I am making space for life-giving activities amidst all the things that my weekly schedule holds. I tend to be overly productive and not very fun. But each step I take toward resting well is a healthy step in the right direction. [see here for more Sabbath articles]
The Overwhelmed Checklist:
How to gain control when my head is spinning.
Stop. Breathe.
Stretch and take 5 deep breaths.
Get present in the moment. What can I see right now?
What is most important right now?
What is vying for my attention?
How can I be kind to my future self?
What can I do now to make tomorrow (and this week) easier?
Brain Dump. – write it all out.
Get the future out of your head.
What might you want to do someday as a result of today?
Get all ideas out of my head and onto paper.
Take each item written down, define a next action, and write that down.
With purpose and calm work through the list of tasks most important right now.
One at a time.
Do all 2-minute tasks first.
Then do the tasks that bother me the most.
My hope is that a few of these questions are helpful to you on those frustrating days lacking direction. That you can choose a better way to deal with overwhelm this week. You can break unhealthy patterns and begin a new way of dealing with frustrations. You are stronger than you realize and the healthier version of you is just around the corner.
I am cheering for you!
You got this! – April
See this article for more: Why Decluttering Clears my Mind
