How to Avoid the Crash – Embracing Home

What is the best way to slow down when things are busy?

How can I take the time to process what is happening that is hard or unusual?

Let’s pick this apart and look at the pieces we are dealing with.

The Crash – What is it? What does it look like?
Rebuilding Step #1: Self-Care
Rebuilding Step #2: Reflection
Rebuilding Step #3: Sabbath

I have also heard the terms functional depression, burnout, and breakdown. Those all bring to mind different extremes.

So, what is it? What does it look like for me?

My Story -
Maybe if I share what the crash looks like for me you will be able to relate. 💙
I juggle a lot of things. I am an overachiever and I have many roles. Throughout the week (during the school year) I am teaching, doing farm chores, cleaning, writing, parenting, cooking... I do the work of three jobs. My husband also has mulitiple roles he shoulders. We share a long list of responsibilities and we do them well. (Profiecinet first borns through and through.. 😉)
Even though I am efficient and use my routines to get me through a massive amount of work, sometimes it catches up with me. All the task switching, the weight of expectations, and the busy schedule feel to heavy. So I crash.
For me, this looks like feeling sick on the couch. Or just not wanting to go anywhere or do anything social. It is taking a long nap or watching nature documentaries on Netflix. I am doing those things because I literally cannot do anything else. I am physically and emtionally worn out.
The crash hits me only sporadically when I am taking time for Sabbath, rest, and not dealing with health issues. At other times in my life, I crash every Friday afternoon.

The crash can also be called over-functioning.

Emily P. Freeman defined this very well in episode #183 of The Next Right Thing Podcast“[Overfunctioning] is the temptation to do more than what God has called you to do. When you over-function you don’t have time to eat, to take care of your body, or to connect.”

What does a physical crash look like and feel like for you?

What does an emotional crash look like and feel like for you?

Self-care, Reflection, and Sabbath are the best tools that I have found to slow me down when things are busy.

. .

Rebuilding Step #1 – Self-Care

Taking care of yourself must be specific to who you are and your lifestyle. We all have different needs and daily obstacles. This is not about being selfish and getting everything we want, but about filling up our buckets so we can pour out for others. Each person is unique and has different needs at different seasons.

To get started with self-care you need some fresh self-awareness. I highly recommend getting to know who you are right now, in this stage of life.

What is your personality?

Do you get energy and joy from being around people and having vibrant relationships?
Do you need some time for reflection and space to be alone?
Where would you rather go for a free afternoon? Into a downtown area for street food and people watching or to a quiet nature trail?
Are you a morning person or do you enjoy the evenings? What is your natural rhythm?
When do you enjoy relaxing with a good book? Or would you rather watch YouTube or listen to a podcast? How do you gather new information?
How do you react to inner and outer expectations? Are you a Rebel, Obligor, Upholder, or a Questioner?
Where are you at on the Enneagram?
What were you like at age 10? How has that changed or stayed the same?

Here are some resources I have used for gathering some self-knowledge:

Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin – Chapter 2 “Different Solutions for Different People”
Inner and outer expectations: Are you a Rebel, Obligor, Upholder, or a Questioner?
The Enneagram: WHAT IS THE ENNEAGRAM? The Simple Beginner’s Guide (3 min. video)
https://www.yourenneagramcoach.com/

Rebuilding Step #2 – Reflection

With reflection, I am able to see what I have been through. I can observe what has worked, why an event was hard, what happened that caused strong emotions, where I was emotionally before the anger, and why I reacted in that way.

How do I take the time to reflect when life keeps going at full speed? Routines and habits.

I have created a routine in my day that makes a huge difference = Journaling and Morning Pages. (It was also the way that I survived my turbulent teen years.)

Morning pages.

The journaling practice of writing out my thoughts and ideas right away every morning. I can clear the crud. Get the annoyances out on paper and process what is bothering me. This process of writing long hand slows me down, reminds me of what I am thinking about, and helps me with reflection.

I see patterns in my daily writings. I notice specific relationships or events that drain me. I am able to see where I am getting stuck and apply solutions to move forward.

Okay, but I am in a busy season. How do I take the time to do that?

I would argue that the busy season is when it is most crucial to take the time for reflection.

That is when we need these practices the most.

Are you so busy that spending 15 minutes by yourself writing is impossible?
Why? What else are you doing that will not allow you to have that time?
Who in your life will not allow you to take that time for yourself?
- That might be a boundary issue and not actually a time issue.

Choosing to spend time in reflection on a regular basis is like taking your foot off the gas pedal for a while. It is allowing the events of the day to decelerate and slow down.

We are not made for going full speed all the time. We are not created to be machines of production and speed.

Here is an article with great ideas: 5 Tips for Starting a Journaling Habit by Michael Hyatt

I would argue that the busy season is when it is most crucial to take the time for reflection.

Rebuilding Step #3 – Sabbath

How would I define Sabbath?

The heart of Sabbath is REST and RESTORATION. Really at the root of all of this is trusting the One who made us and the One who holds all things together. He has called us to this form of resistance to our culture and the way we have been wired. It does not come from an excuse of laziness, but from trust in Him. Sabbath is taking a break from consuming, working, and toil.

Daily Rhythms of Rest –

Find spaces of time every day to be quiet on the inside. Just to be without agenda or set tasks. For me this looks like:

This is standing in my dark kitchen holding my morning cup of coffee.
It is getting out my knitting for a few moments of frivolous focus and busy fingers.
Taking a break to pet the cat or play ball with the dog.
Leaning on small yard gate watching the sky change from orange to purple in a beautiful Arizona sunset.

I am reminded that God is good, He makes all things new, He is full of grace, He loves me as I am, God loves my children more than I can imagine, and He is with me no matter what my day holds.

“Many of us live with a low-grade fatigue and chronic anxiety that rarely, if ever, goes away. We careen through our days at breakneck speed, and wonder where God is in the fray.”
– John Mark Comer from The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry

See these articles for more of what I have written about rest: Sabbath Living

Is it possible to slow down when life keeps going? Yes. I think we can.

Will it be difficult? Yes. It will be strange to some people and you will be rudely misunderstood by others. But, I think it is worth it.

The peace in our homes, and the emotional and spiritual health we have matter.

When the crash happens, or even before it gets to that point, I use these tools to slow me down. I am thankful for Self-care, Reflection, and Sabbath. I will return to these rebuilding steps and learn something new when things become overwhelming.

When I crash it is a learning opportunity to make a change. For many years I wasted my time repeating unhealthy cycles. I do not want to do that anymore. I need to learn to slow down before my body screams at me to rest.

Lord Jesus,
Help us as we learn how to rest. Show us how we are made so uniquely and with a personality that you have knit together. Give us the insight to know what works in our homes and in this season. Give us the strength to live differently in this hustle culture.
Amen

I hope my vulnerability in sharing my story helps you.

Know that you are not alone.

🍵Hugs! – April

_{Photos by Annie Spratt and others on Unsplash}

What about you? Do some journaling.

What are some restful activities that you enjoy?

How can you add self-care that works for you into tomorrow? Next week?

Still feeling stuck or need more ideas?

Here are some articles to help you out.